Perception….

The call is coming from inside the house!

“Today I escaped anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions — not outside.” - Marcus Aurelius

I work in Hollywood where the pursuit of perception is not just a sport, it’s a religion….. for some. Afraid of other’s perception that you may not have enough money? Drive a car that has a monthly lease payment equal to three months of your total salary. Sure, it will be repoed in the next few months by a greasy guy sucking on a toothpick, but until then…. Afraid that other’s perception is that you don’t have enough Hollywood juice? By all means, post pictures of yourself strutting the Red Carpet at Cannes, close enough to models and celebs to appear that you ”might” be with them, then next to a private jet at the private airport that you have absolutely nothing to do with, and finally, smile with a Yacht right before it sails off into the Mediterranean sunset without you.

Equal to our fear of insignificance and irrelevance, is our FOMO, and nothing has been worse for FOMO than social media. The illusions you can build with it are striking manipulations that seem to perpetuate other’s FOMO, that manipulate other’s FOMO, and on and on. Before you know it, you’re stuck in a FOMO doom loop. Except, you’re not. It’s all flickering lights and jazz hands.

The only perceptions of you, your job, your company that are real are your own. Because, for people to have a “perception” of you, they would have to be thinking about you. But, they aren’t thinking about you…. at …. all. They are thinking about how they are perceived, not how you are. You only come into play by comparison.

Sure, there are plenty of people in Hollywood who are happy to tell you that you suck. Usually, some competitors that have an agenda to be perceived as better than you, your service, your work, etc. This is for their own devices and their compensation. It doesn’t have anything to do with you or the truth.

Here’s where you have to pay attention. Outside of your perception, the rest is a perception of a perception, and wait, there it goes, that old doom loop again.

If you worry about what everyone else’s perception is, you’ll get nothing done. You’ll wallow away in the rabbit hole of inadequacy that you’ve managed to go down, making no real progress on your goals, because you view every step as a possible misstep. Every misstep appears as a fatal flaw instead of the minor mistake it is. You risk stasis, or worse, overreaction. Worrying about other people’s perceptions is the first sure step on the road to failure.

I’m not going to tell you to start a gratitude journal, positive affirmations, or Chakra cleansing. They are not bad things, but they won’t help with what we’re talking about here. I’m going to tell you to start asking yourself, how do I see myself? How do I perceive myself? How do I conduct myself, my relationships, my business? What is my perception of me?

The Johari Window, is a model of self-awareness developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram in 1955. It systemizes a way to track and examine your self-perceptions vs. how you may being perceived by others. But, in all cases, introspection should come first.

While the Johari Window is meant as a tool to increase trust and efficacy of teams working together, it begins with a self-assessment, as in, what are my perceptions of myself? Where are the holes in my vision? Most importantly, what am I putting out there?

If you’re down on yourself, perhaps you should start here. If you’re down on the people around you, on their shortcomings? Perhaps you are avoiding the hard look at your personal shortcomings.

I’m not saying there are no influences or perceptions from the outside world. People do have thoughts and judgments about everything. You can see that in quadrants 2 and 4. What I am asking you to consider is, that your perceptions help guide what you perceive as the outside perceptions. Again, what I am saying is it all starts with you.

If you don’t like the limiting perceptions you feel others have of you, start with yourself. Carefully consider the positives and negatives as you see them, and be honest about what you may be putting out there. You’ll probably find you are off base about how much the outside world cares as opposed to how much you care.

If you don’t like the perception “you think” others have, first make sure the call isn’t coming from inside the house.

This week on THE LINE Podcast:

Steve & John chat about Suits LA shooting in Vancouver and the UK Self Taping Scandal involving IAM and their client Mark Barrett. John and Steve then talk with Grip and Industry activist Danny Stephens about the possibility of IA and Teamster strikes as they negotiate their contracts. Lastly, Danny teaches Cap about being a dolly grip.

THE LINE