Who here wakes up every morning with a smile on your face, a song in your heart, and ready to take on the world? Anyone? Anyone at all…..?
I don’t know about you, but when I wake up, it takes a half an hour to shake off the anxiety filled dreams my subconscious was throwing at me all night. I let the dogs out, we all pee on the lawn together, don’t worry, it’s the backyard, then I go back inside and make a double espresso. Only then can I even begin to think about the day ahead.
When day breaks, we all all filled up again with the challenges of the coming day. Managing family and work responsibilities, and most importantly, stresses on our mental health.
For Filmmakers and creatives, it’s imperative to keep perspective. When you really stop to mull it over, we are not in that bad shape. We’re not rolling over to find that fire went out, it’s cold and there’s a tiger standing in the entrance to the cave. The worst you have to look forward to is that yet another studio has passed on your script.
However, all things being equal, creatives have it worse than the average worker. At least mentally. “A 2015 paper by Currid-Halkett and Stolarick, published in the Journal of Urban Affairs, explored the relationship between creativity and anxiety, suggesting that the uncertainties and the subjective nature of creative work could contribute to higher levels of anxiety among professionals in these fields.” ** To this I say, no shit.
I think we can all agree that the Pandemic and the Writers and Actors strikes created a little “uncertainty.” The competitiveness and “subjective nature” of what we do also doesn’t help one’s state of mind. Rejection is just part of the workflow in most cases, and questioning ones talent, stamina… existence, seems par for the course.
My mother, rest her soul, used to have several sayings she would lay on me, when I found myself with tepid results in an endeavor. She’d say “well, it’s better than a kick in the pants.” or if it were a more serious rejection, “well, it’s better than a sharp stick in the eye.” I see her folksy point, I mean what’s better than a sharp stick in the eye? Pretty much anything.
Being a Filmmaker or any creator for that matter, involves a good amount of suffering. You know that expression “suffering for your art?” Yeah, that’s a thing. But, knowing that suffering is part of the deal going in, the real question is, how well are you suffering?
Perhaps, just knowing that you’re suffering as an Artist is enough, but what came first? The chicken or the egg. There have been studies that suggest that creatives may not suffer as a result of creating, but actually are drawn to create as a way of dealing with the general suffering of the human condition. At least in my case, it has been suggested by some (see Therapist and Wife) that I manage my emotions better when I set time aside to write. So, I’m unsure at this point whether I suffer because I write, or I write because I suffer.
But, let’s be real. In Hollywood, we tend to suffer over the things that worry us, that we really can do little to control. Will we financially recover quickly enough from the six months of no work in 2023? Will the ways entertainment and advertising are consumed in the future have a place for my talents? We are not dealing with incoming missiles or fear of being on the wrong end of genocide. We’re just very comfortable and wish to remain that way.
I’m not telling you to suck it up. It’s OK. For Humans, suffering is a natural state. Every religion tries to deal with it. In Buddhism, “The Four Noble Truths” confronts it directly. The “Ten Commandments” are a list of helpful reminders to avoid suffering or avoid causing suffering. When we talk about “The Human Condition,” we’re pretty much talking about mental acceptance of our suffering.
I’ve had the privilege several times in my life of participating in the “Sweat Lodge,” ritual celebrated by North American indigenous tribes. Both of mine were done in the Lakota tradition. If there is a way to prove to yourself that you can suffer well, this is it.
Used for purification and mental preparation, it was often a requirement before Warriors went into battle. From my own experience, I can say that the intense heat produced by water poured over hot rocks, creates an extremely uncomfortable physical experience. It’s hard to breathe, you’re sweating more than you ever thought you could and you just want it to end. It’s not the average Steam Room at the gym, with old guys sitting on towels, and leaving after five minutes. It’s 10 times hotter and you can’t leave until the Elder in charge finishes his prayers. You do multiple rounds of subjecting to the heat, then being let out, only to turn around after a few minutes to go back in and do it again. This goes on 3 or 4 rounds for 30 minutes each. I mean it’s tough.
However, after doing a Sweat Lodge, you really do feel like you can withstand any suffering put in front of you. Not only does it prove that you can suffer a lot, it mentally prepares you to suffer even more than you might have to. Perfect for getting in touch with your inner, “I can do this.”
Is there an actual salve for suffering? Voltaire thought the meaning of life, and the way to avoid suffering was work. I would tend to agree. Creative work, as frustrating as it can be, is at least a distraction from suffering, while you invariably end up describing suffering throughout your work. I mean, the last book I read with no suffering in it, was “Goodnight Moon,” and I’m not even sure about that.
The last question is, is there a cure for suffering? Unfortunately, the only cure is to realize there’s no cure. Once you absorb that, you can at least get on with living your life.
So, let’s suffer well. My business partner Frank, always quotes me, from when we faced a lawsuit together. I had been sued before, and he hadn’t. I just said “It’s gonna be fine.” I knew from experience to let the Lawyers do what the Lawyers do, don’t take anything personally, realize it’s a long game, and in the end it will work out. Now anytime we face challenges, he says to me “It’s gonna be fine.” I find that simple phrase alleviates a lot of suffering. In any event, no matter what happens, it’ll be better than a sharp stick in the eye. So, suffer well my friends, it’s gonna be fine.
**Research using ChatGPT 4.
I'm facing a medical situation that's been giving me way too much anxiety and I thought I had banished anxiety from my life years ago. How foolish of me. But I think your "It's gonna be fine" mantra will serve me well going forward. Thanks for this, Steve.
Good one. My sweat lodges were working on low-budget features in environmentally-hostile locations like Saugus in August and late summer in the tobacco fields of North Carolina. There was another in the snows of Vermont where some of our day exterior scenes were shot in 8 degree temps. Being a coastal California boy, I'd never had to deal with all the water bottles in the lighting truck being frozen for an entire shoot.
But as the saying goes, it builds character -- and yes, after those experiences I didn't fear much of anything on set. The days (or nights) would be long and painful, but such is the nature of the gig, and having made one's bed in the reality of Hollywood, there one must sleep. No matter how long and miserable the day (or night), the First AD would eventually call "That's a wrap!" and after loading the trucks I'd get to go home.
Everything was fine.